I got online in October, 1996 and immediately positioned myself in several AOL chat rooms (music quote trivia, guess song by lyrics mostly), where I found people who were like me: alone, adrift in the world, aimless, restless, looking for something. We found that something and we found each other. Being online and in chat rooms gave us an outlet, a way to reach other people without having to leave our house, a way for our small voices to be heard by others. I met people from all over the country and became fast friends with many of them.

There was Shawn, the snowboarder from Denver who called me every night to tell me about his exploits. I sent him care packages and friendly mix tapes. There was John from Tennessee and Molly from Long Island and Dierdre, whom I sent a gift to when she gave birth to her daughter. These were the people in my life, the people who mattered to me. There was no one in my physical world who compared to the friends I met online. No one understood me like they did. No one got me. No one else wanted to talk about depression the way they did. We were so open about it, so willing to divulge our personal lives, our shared mental illnesses or divorces and separations with each other.

I spent a lot of time on AOL Instant Messenger talking to people about things I wouldn’t dare approach with my family or real life friends. The near anonymity of the people I was talking to made me feel safe; they were not there to judge me…