tell all your friends

I’ve never been one to have a large circle of friends. Back in grade school, I was basically friendless save for my cousins. In middle school I had one or two friends I could sort of rely on; in high school I ran with a rather large crowd but considered only three of those people “real” friends.

I was comfortable living without the crowded landscape of large scale friendships. I was a socially awkward kid and barely able to navigate the small roads of friendship I established. Anything else, anything bigger would have left me short-circuited.

As I got older, I realized it was good to just have one or two close friends. Less friends meant less social invites, less things to do on a weekend, less gossip and less chances at break ups. Anything to make my social life and my personal life easier. I was happy to be at home, doing my thing, without having to check a calendar those rare times someone asked me to do something social.

When my daughter was an infant, I joined a mother’s support group and instantly bonded with one of the women there. 30 years later, she’s still one of my best friends, and the only real friend besides my sisters I have in close proximity. We see each other once a week at least, mostly for lunch, sometimes for breakfast. We talk about our lives, our kids, current events. But I don’t confide in her my deepest feelings, my most sacred…