you and your memories

dancing to go now by the moody blues when i was five, in the living room of the house that i would later buy

standing on my father’s toes as he danced me around to earth angel and watching my parents, arms around each other, swaying to in the still of the night

there were songs that i thought would mean something forever, steely dan records that went hand in hand with a budding romance, little feat songs i swore would bind us forever

the cassette player in my first car, a clash tape stuck in its maw, destined to listen to somebody got murdered on repeat while driving on sweet hollow road with no lights on just for the fun of it

songs bittersweet, twirling around to sea of love at my first wedding, inadvertently having sex to new day rising, a long lost springsteen bond, holding each other with exuberant joy as he’s playing candy’s room twenty feet from us

sharing nick cave by candlelight during a blackout, promising things that could never come true, whispering an allegiance that would soon fade out like the flickering flame

crying to the national, fake empire and baby we’ll be fine in my headphones, shutting out the world i was tired of living in, echoing whatever pain i was going through like voices in my head

running to jesus walks, feet stomping on cement with each beat, pounding the sidewalk, escaping everything with each step only to run in a circle and come back around to the all the same things again